Hungry is a blessing?

I'm not hungry often enough. 

This is a hard one for me to admit because, who wants to actually BE hungry? Our nation actually prides itself on solving hunger for the world (or trying to).  We fund food programs for other countries, we subsidize school lunch, breakfast, and snacks so kids don't go hungry, and set up food banks & kitchens to provide meals to the least of these. We spend so much time focusing on preventing/solving hunger that we lose sight of what it is. 

Deut 8:3-5 "He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord." 

I hope you caught that, because I sure missed it for ages.  He lets us be hungry. How many times have WE let ourselves be hungry? I know that in our house, it's something that needs to be rectified IMMEDIATELY. Saying, "I'm kinda hungry" is tantamount to "stop what your doing and let's figure this out" and all of our focus goes to correcting it. 

I understand that there are people that are underfed, undernourished and chronically suffering from it, and I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about those of us who have felt hard times, but have predominately lived in such amazing abundance that we've forgotten what it feels like to really be hungry. 

And, yet that is how God desires us to be. I'm trying to wrap my head around this and as dinner time comes and goes I'm thinking about what that would mean for my life. What would I be like if I didn't race to grab a snack as soon as I felt like my tummy was empty. Would I be healthier? I probably would! Maybe, just maybe I'd stop being a slave to food. 

I can tell you that I'm not looking forward to finding out. I feel like I'm on the verge of something that will change my life, and honestly I'm scared to just go for it. Sometimes it seems like my big girl panties just aren't big enough to handle all that. But, I know that I will not find peace until I'm obedient to His voice, and honestly, what God says about food is so clear- that it's NOT about food at all, but about honoring Him... getting closer to Him and learning to rely on HIM. 

Based on a conversation with my sweet hubby today we've decided that we're going to start fasting. And, before you are all like: fasting?! WHAATTT??? It means to go a period of time without eating. We all "fast" between meals (ideally) but I've never tried to make it the "end goal". Fasting seems to be marketed wrongly today. I'm not talking about days, or even one whole day, but to maybe go a solid 8 hours for starters. Too many times I've thought it was about denying yourself food to lose weight, but it's really the exercise of control over yourself, and of gaining peace.  Does that make any sense?  We haven't made concrete plans about how we're going to do this but I must say, I'm happy that my hubby was the one to suggest it. Sometimes I feel like I have these hair-brained ideas and he just goes along with it, so it's nice that he gets crazy sometimes too. 

With the whole journey of facing my food addiction is hope that I come out the other side with a completely different mindset on hunger -vs- nourishment. For instance, today at lunch, I asked K if he thought that his lunches were selected to nourish his body or to stop feeling hungry. I think that I'll elaborate on that next time. I feel that I have said enough on the topic today. 

As my weight stands, I'm 203# today and pretty satisfied with my progress. It's not as much about the number on the scale as it is my heart and mind, but I know that soon, my new insides will be matched by a smaller outside.